To My Late Brother-in-Law Charlie

Dear Charlie,                            November 17, 2012

It was 2 years ago today that we said good bye to you in your earthly life and you went to be with our heavenly father. Charlie I have to say that I  admired your amazing strength as you suffered so much through the months of your illness and I know there must have been many days where you felt everything just fall apart, but you never made a big fuss about being sick or ever complained once with a "why me". You had such a happy wonderful way about everything you did and you loved life and lived it with no regrets. Even up to the end of your life, as this is when you suffered most, Kim told me you said to her "Life will get better and it will be good for you again".

I miss you incredibly my dear brother-in-law, and not a day has passed over the last two years that I haven't thought of you. Life has gone on and as you promised Kim, things did get better. I spoke with her this morning because she was having a "Charlie moment", she always calls me to talk her down at these times, and Kim said to me that no matter what happens in her life, you will always be home for her. Your illness and passing has changed our 2 lives immensely as we have never been closer and more supportive of one another, the way sisters should be. We share our pain of losing you as much as we share our joy in the fondest of memories and all the laughter we had with you. I can't tell you how many times Kim and I have laughed and spoke about you in all types of situations. It's always Charlie would say this or Charlie would do that, Charlie would love this or Charlie never really liked that. You are still so much a part of my life that there are moments when I am in your home I forget where I am in time, and I'll think of you as just being at the grocery store or out on the golf course. Kim and I often speak about the tremendous love you had for Grace and Michael, and Charlie, you have to know that you couldn't have been a more perfect and loving uncle to them...they simply adored you.

So I just felt the need today to sit down and write you and let you know that we are getting by OK down here. I know you are watching, and that you are very much present in all of our lives. We keep you in our daily thoughts and always in our heart of hearts. You are one beautiful person and I am so honored to not only have known you but for you to be a part of my life and of my family as well.

Pray for us Charlie...God has his light shed on you. I love you and miss more than words could ever say.

Your sister-in-law,

Post Note: It was because of Charlie's illness that I found and fell into blogging. When Charlie was diagnosed our familys and friends were stunned. A dear friend of mine suggested that I start a blog so people who wanted to stay current on Charlie's journey can do so without feeling like they were intruding in any way. So that's what I did...I started Charlie's Blog - A Battle with Lung Cancer. Since I have a medical background I included information of the various treatments Charlie had gone through along with some in depth explanations of how medications and medical procedures work. My hope is that this blog may help anyone else who has been diagnosed with small cell lung cancer to better understand this disease process and treatments.


  1. What a beautiful letter to your brother-in-law. I do believe that our loved ones are always around us. I am happy that Kim has such a wonderful and supportive sister like you. May Charlie rest in peace. Blessed Thanksgiving to you and your family. xo

  2. Barbara, A beautiful tribute to your B-I-L. Sorry for your loss. xo, Susie

  3. Oh wow, what a great letter to him and you can tell it's from your heart. I don't need to tell you that it brought tears to my eyes, I'm sure Charlie has a big smile on his face right now!

  4. That is a beautiful tribute to Charlie.
    He knows how much he was loved.
    Time does heal.

  5. Barbara: I was thinking about you this morning, as I am behind again in visiting friends. I wanted to wish you and your family a wonderful Thanksgiving and I'm so glad I did, or I might not have seen this beautiful post. It is so hard to lose those who are so special in our lives, and it takes a long time, if not forever, to have things get all right again. You and your sister have done such a good job of putting it all in perspective and she must be so grateful to have you in her life. What a blessing that you can talk about Charlie and laugh. Can you even imagine how hard it would be not to do that? But, I think it just goes to show how much he was loved and how much he loved, in order for you and your sister to be able to accept, and remember him as the wonderful man that he was and is. I know people that cannot do that and they continue to live under a dark cloud and will never have a really happy life, and that is a shame. Our loved ones would not wish that upon us..Happy Weekend..Judy

  6. What a beautiful and heartfelt letter to Charlie - he was obviously a wonderful man... I'm sure he is smiling as he watches over you and your sister....

  7. I feel the love in your heart you have for your BIL Barbara. I'm so sad for your loss. My husband's cousin Anneliese was told she has lung cancer. I'm heartsick over it. We have no idea how she got it?!?

  8. Barbara,
    You have such a sweet heart. Please pass onto your family our thoughts and prayers... dee dee

  9. What a touching letter! I am sure that Charlie appreciates each word! I lost my brother in 1999. He was only 42. I think of him every day and still forget he's gone at times. When a person is so deeply a part of your heart, they are never really gone. Thank you for sharing your beautiful tribute! Hugs, Leena


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